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Jun 29, 2017

Who Has More Money?, Chainsaw Sports, Randy's News Tease, $5 Quiz Initial Challenge, Dave's 100.7 Days of Summer Math Quiz, Boyer V. The Team: How Many Bulls Die in the Ring Each Year?, Half Baked Crackpot News. 

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Jun 28, 2017

Sourtoe Cocktail, CNN Producer Video, Chainsaw Sports, Randy's News Tease, Chicks Can't Do Sound Effects, Bachelor in Paradise New Rules, Sex Toy Casualties, Half Baked Crackpot News. 

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Jun 27, 2017

Update on Shelly's Surgery, Bad TV, Chainsaw Sports, Randy's News Tease, Who's Worse: Kmart, Airport, or Fair People, NBA Awards, What is America's Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?, Stupid Guy Stuff,  McEnroe Says Serena Williams 700th Against Men, Nebraska Democrat Happy Scalise Got Shot, Half Baked Crackpot News. 

 

Jun 26, 2017

Point Loma residents unhappy about airport, Does your dog have a favorite master?  Bromo is the father of Emily's baby, Merle...Impulse home improvement, What will girls try?  Peanut Butter and Liverwurst?  Smartphones on the toilet?  Rude things to do as a guest.

Jun 23, 2017

Pokemon game brings out muggers, Sex on your wedding night, Deepest ocean is 6 miles deep!  Father's Day theater, $5 Quiz, Sam The Cooking Guy teaches us how to make a hot dog, Who gets custody of the dog? 

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Jun 22, 2017

BEST OF DSC WILL BEGIN ON SATURDAY!! RED SHOE DAY TODAY 630-930 WITH SARA, MIKE SLATER, CARLO, AND ASHLEY JACOBS

BEST OF CHAINSAW SPORTS

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: TRUMP-CARE BILL WILL BE UNVEILED TODAY. FED FUNDING FROM PLANNED PARENTHOOD. FBI INVESTIGATING STABBING A COP AT MI AIRPORT YESTERDAY. STORM CINDY. HOME PRICES GOING UP AGAIN IN SAN DIEGO COUNTY. GEORGE CLOONEY SOLD HIS TEQUILA CO FOR ONE BILLION DOLLARS!

JOHNNY DEPP BLEW 2/3 OF A BILLION DOLLARS, OWNS 14 HOMES/ ESTATES/ISLANDS, ART COLLECTION, JEWELRY, $2 MILL A MONTH!

SIMON COWELL IS PRODUCING A SONG TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE HIGH RISE FIRE IN LONDON.

STUPID GUY THING DAY: PRIZE – 4 PACK OF TICKETS TO SAN DIEGO ZOO

SHELLY – MEN DON'T ASK FOR DIRECTIONS

GIL – MAN BUNS

EMILY – WHEN THEY SIT ON THE COUCH WITH THEIR HAND IN THEIR PANTS

MEN DON'T SEND BIRTHDAY CARDS

DICK PICS

MAKING LAME BETS

INDIA/MICHAEL -

SIERRA – LAST NAME TATTOO

SHELLY – PUBLIC SPITTING

TRACIE - PENIS WINDMILL DANCE

****** WINNER****MICHELLE – BALL PUNCHING

******WINNER*****MICHAEL AND INDIA – MEN CHOOSING WOMEN EVEN THO THEY'RE BAT SHIT CRAZY

CATHY – PONY TAIL WHILE BALD ON TOP

BEST OF CHAINSAW SPORTS:

BOYER VS. THE TEAM

Q: SONG HISTORY – FAMOUS SONG WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY JIM WEATHERLY FOR FARRAH FAWCETT WHO WAS WITH LEE MAJORS AT THE TIME. HOUSTON

A: TEAM - NADA

A: BOYER – MIDNIGHT TRAIN TO GEORGIA – CORRECT ANSWER

WINNER - LISTENER - SHERRY CHOSE BOYER. PADRE OR FAIR TICKETS

 

SHELLY'S NEWS: SHOOTER IN DC ACTED LIKE A TOURIST BEFORE SHOOTING AT CONGRESSMEN PLAYING BASEBALL. WEED DRIVING. NEWS QUIZ:

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Jun 21, 2017

TODAY LONGEST DAY OF THE YEAR, SUMMER SOLSTICE. DESIGINATED COOL ZONE IN CHRIS BOYER'S R-V. DAVE IN HIS ONSIE PAJAMA'S IN SUMMER LISTENING TO GRANKE PLAYING OUTSIDE.

PADRES AREN'T TOUGH ENOUGH TO RETALIATE

CHAINSAW SPORTS: CUBS RIZZO AND PADRES CATCHER DODGED TO HIS LEFT. BASEBALL INCIDENT AT MONDAY'S GAME.

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: BRUSSELS BELGIUM TERRRORIST ATTACK. GA ELECTION SPENT $60 MILLION FOR ONE SEAT IN CONGRESS – REPUBLICAN WON. ILLINOIS HAS NO BALANCED BUDGET - $14 BILLION IN DEBT. MASS MAIL MIX UP – COLON SCREENING SAMPLE – TURD IN A BOX.

7am $5 QUIZ STANDINGS: SHELLY LAST PLACE, CHAINSAW 4TH PLACE, BOYER 3RD PLACE, EMILY 2ND PLACE, RUTHIE 1ST PLACE ONLY 1 ½ GAMES AHEAD.

$5 QUIZ: SONGS OF SUMMER: BOYER WON!

THREE TIME OSCAR WINNER, DAN DAY LEWIS IS RETIRING FROM ACTING.

EMILY'S MOM DANCE WAS A BIG HIT TODAY!

DICK DOODLE TALK -

BIG RED SHOES GUEST CHUCK DAY, TALKING ABOUT RAISING MONEY FOR RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE ON THE STREETS OF SAN DIEGO TOMORROW AM 630-930AM WITH SARA, CARLO, SLATER AND OTHERES. COMPETITION TO SEE WHO COLLECTS THE MOST CASH!

FIVE OLD FASHIONED WORDS WE USE BECAUSE WE'RE OLD: BUMMER, AWESOME. SWEET, TOTALLY. COOL.

NEWS: BIG DISCUSSION ON GIVING SEXUAL CONSENT WHILE DRUNK, BLACKED OUT, TOO DRUNK, NOT SPEAKING, NOT SAYING YES, SAYING NO, BUT DOING IT ANYWAY. BACHELOR IN PARADISE CASE INVESTIGATED WITH CORRINNE AND DEMARIO HAVING DRUNKEN SEX IN A POOL.

$5 QUIZ STANDINGS: RUTH #1, EMILY #2, BOYER #3, CHAIN #4, SHELLY #5

Daniel day lewis retiring

You can't be a saint if you're a dick doodler

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Jun 20, 2017

CHAT ABOUT THE LAST WEEK WITH SHELLY'S ROTTEN HIP. SURGERY NEXT WEEK.

ICE = A NEW STRONGER TYPE OF METH. GUY IN AUSTRALIA GOT HIGH AND TRIED TO HAVE SEX WITH A CROCODILE. DAVE'S NEW BAND IS COLON FULL OF QUICK-CRETE.

CHAINSAW SPORTS: KEITH HERNANDEZ - "GETTING HIS TITS LIT"

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: THE STUDENT DIED WHO WAS ARRESTED IN NORTH KOREA RETURNED TO US WITH BRAIN DAMAGE. ELECTION TODAY IN GA FOR CONGRESS. SPENT $60 MILLION. HEAT WAVE CONTINUES IN THE US. FLIGHTS CANCELLED IN PHOENIX DUE TO HIGH HEAT. HEAVY METAL FESTIVAL WAKKEN 4 MILE BEER LINE

$5 QUIZ: BACHELORETTE SPELLING BEE FOR THE CREW. LISTENER CHOOSES THE WINNER.

TIED FOR FIRST PLACE: BOYER – BRANDEN AND

WINNER: EMILY – JASON - HE'S GOING TO THE SD ZOO!!

OUT: CHAINSAW – LISA RUTH – BRIAN EMILY – JASON SHELLY - TODD

CORRECT WORDS: SQUIRT, PASSION, CARESS, SCHMUCK, EUPHORIC, CHAMPAGNE, BOUDOIR, FAÇADE, COITUS, STUNNING, BOUTONNIERE, POLYAMOUROUS, TIE BREAKER WORD: DIARRHEA

REDEMPTION – NO LONGER A SPELLING BEE FLUNKEE.

HOW MUCH WOULD YOU NEED IF YOU GO TO THE DOCTOR TO HAVE SOMETHING CUT OFF AND HE CUT OFF THE WRONG PART? GUY HAD A BAD BALL AND THEY TOOK OFF THE WRONG ONE. COURT GAME HIM $900,000.

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

CASINO IS NOT THE SAME THING AS GODFATHER 2!!

Heavy metal beer pipeline

FAÇADE: the face of a building, especially the principal front that looks onto a street or open space.

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Jun 19, 2017

BAD FINGER COULD CRUSH A CRATE OF PERT IN A WEEK. THERE WAS SO MUCH HAIR IN THAT BAND.

NAGGING WOULD YOU RATHER FROM VICTORIA: WOULD YOU RATHER EAT ALL THE POTATO CHIPS, TATER TOTS & FRIES AND DIE AT 80 OR EAT ALL YOU WANT AND DIE AT 60.

DAVE'S FATHER'S DAY DINNER: CHARCUTERIE, FILET BITES WRAPPED IN BACON AND GRILLED CHICKEN WITH FRIES AND A SALAD AND MOLTEN CARMEL BROWNIES DRIPPED WITH VANILLA ICE CREAM.

SHELLY'S FATHER'S DAY: THE CHINESE WALL WITH MATT DAMON - CHARLIE CHAN MOVIE AND SUICIDE SQUAD. HIS GIRLS CAME OVER TO WATCH MOVIES AND BROUGHT GIFTS.

BOYER WAS GROSS TALKING ABOUT HOW SOME OF HIS DOGS PORK HIS GIRL DOG.

FLOUNDER DIED FROM ANIMAL HOUSE. DEATH CZAR SAYS NO, DAVE SAYS YES TO PURGATORY.

CHAINSAW SPORTS: US OPEN WINNER BROOKS KOEPKA. WNBA MOST POINTS SCORED

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: VAN DROVE INTO CROWD OF PEOPLE EXISTING A MOSQUE IN LONDON YESTERDAY. 60 PPL DEAD FOREST FIRE. NAVY SHIP COLLIDED WITH JAPANESE SHIP – 7 DIED, 2 FROM SAN DIEGO. TRUMP'S LAWYER SAYS HE'S NOT UNDER INVESTIGATION, DESPITE TRUMP TWEETING THAT HE IS. CAITLYN JENNER IS UNDER FIRE FOR SAYING SOME HURTFUL THINGS ABOUT LIBERALS. BEYONCE HAD TWINS LAST WEEK, ONE BOY, ONE GIRL. SCOTT PELLY QUIT AS CBS ANCHOR WITH HIS LAST SHOW ON FRIDAY. NEWS QUIZ PRIZE: JEFF FOXWORTHY AT THE SD COUNTY FAIR

BOYER VS. THE TEAM: FOUR PACK OF TICKETS TO SAN DIEGO NIGHT TIME ZOO: LISTENER JESSICA WINS

Q: GO AWAY LITTLE GIRL, SOMETHING TELLS ME I'M INTO SOMETHING GOOD, SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL - A: THE TEAM: NEIL SEDAKA A: BOYER: NEIL DIAMOND JESSICA SAYS NEITHER, REAL ANSWER: CAROL KING

(((IT'S ALL SARA'S FAULT THAT LISTENER JESSICA DOESN'T KNOW IT'S 100.7 DAYS OF SUMMER)))) DAVE STEVE IS TEACHING A CLASS: LINER SUMMER SCHOOL AND SARA NEEDS TO TAKE IT.

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

Referring back TO EMBARRASSING DAD'S STORIES ON FRIDAY. OUR WINNER WAS JACKING OFF AND HIS DAD WALKED IN AND THE DUDE BURST INTO TEARS. MORE STORIES: DAD STOLE PIZZA AND DRINKS FROM A TABLE WHO LEFT TO PLAY GAMES BUT DIDN'T LEAVE THE RESTAURANT.

HBO TV NEWS: MORE WEINERS ON THE SHOW CALLED LEFTOVERS.

WHAT'S THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF TIME FOR SEX?

Answer is 30 minutes with foreplay to completion. The average time is 21 min. According to real life couples.

Shelly – 20 minutes

Emily – 23 minutes

Ruthie – 45 minutes

A LISTENER WROTE TO DAVE TO ASK WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT NIPPLE HAIR? IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SHAVE IT OR WAX IT OFF – LAZER OR TWEEZE IT OFF!

MOVIES THIS WEEKEND: #1 CARS 3, #2 WONDER WOMAN, #3 ALL EYES ON ME #4 THE MUMMY

SHELLY'S NEWS TEASE: LONDON VAN CRASHES INTO MOSQUE KILLING PEOPLE. PARIS – SAME THING.

SHELLY'S NEWS: VAN CRASHED INTO COPS IN PARIS. VAN IN LONDON. FIRE IN … NAVY SHIP CRASHED INTO JAPANESE SHIP. COSBY JURY MISSTRIAL. WILL RETRY. TRUMP ISN'T UNDER INVESTIGATION ACCORDING TO HIS ATTY. SAN DIEGO SOCCER STADIUM?

CHAINSAW SPORTS: WNBA PLAYER SCORES MOST POINTS OF ALL TIME.

 

Jamped – past tense of jumped

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Jun 16, 2017

SHELLY'S HIP

DAVE GOT AN EMAIL FROM LISTENER MARLENE WHO'S LIVID THAT HER EX-HUSBAND IS COMING TO HER sons GRADUATION AND DINNER AFTERWARDS. HER SON INVITED HIM, BUT SHE'S LIVID BECAUSE THE DAD HASN'T BEEN THERE THE ENTIRE TIME. SHE'S NOT SURE SHE CAN BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HIM. SHOULD SHE SUCK IT UP AND GO ALONG WITH IT OR NOT GO OR COMPROMISE AND NOT GO TO THE DINNER.

CHAINSAW SPORTS: US OPEN, BLIMP CRASH YESTERAY – CAUGHT FIRE WHEN IT CRASH LANDED.

 

LEARNED A NEW WORD in chainsaw sports today...: FESCUE – TALL GRASS ON THE GOLF COURSE at the u.s. open. ON FATHER'S DAY

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: CONGRESSIONAL BASEBALL GAME – DEMS WON. ESCAPED INMATES HAVE BEEN CAPTURED AFTER A TEN MILE CAR CHASE & TAKEN ALIVE. PENTAGON SENDING 4,000 MORE TROOPS TO AFGHANISTAN. HEAT WAVE IN SAN DIEGO INTO NEXT WEEK. DALAI LAMA AT UCSD TODAY. YOKO ONO GETTING CREDIT AS CO-WRITER OF IMAGINATION WITH JOHN LENNON.

 

MOST EMBARASSING DAD STORY WINS A FOUR PACK OF TICKETS TO KNOTT'S BERRY FARM!

***GREG**** WINNER**** – WHEN HE WAS 13, HIS DAD WALKED IN ON HIM JACKING AND HE STARTED CRYING BECAUSE DAD SCARED HIM. DAD LAUGHED AND LEFT THE ROOM. MOM SAID TO DAD – YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING DOWN THERE!******

RANDY'S DAD TOLD HIM TO STOP SELF-PLEASURING HIMSELD AND THAT WAS THE MOST EMBARASSING THING. SAID IT WOULD HELP HIM BE A BETTER ATHLETE!

DAD SHOWED UP AT THE CLUB AND HAD THEM ANNOUNCE HIS GIRLFRIEND'S NAME – YANNI -AND TOLD HER IT WAS TIME TO GO HOME.

DOUG - DAD FARTED LOUDLY DURING A FOOTBALL GAME ON THE ALUMINUM BLEACHERS.

STEVEN – DAD GOT CAUGHT EMBEZZLING FROM A BANK DOWNTOWN. HIS NAME & PIC MADE THE PAPER, SO HE AND HIS SIBLINGS WERE MADE FUN OF AT SCHOOL.

"DAVE'S NEW BAND NAME: GREG CRIES WHEN HE BEATS OFF"

NANCY – WENT TO THE BEACH WITH FRIENDS. A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL PUT A SHIRT ON OVER HER WET SWIM SUIT AND DAD SAID – YOU'RE FAUCETS ARE LEAKING.

KEN – DAD MADE A CORNBALL JOKE

JESSICA – SHE WAS ON "KIDS TELL DIRTY JOKES" WHEN SHE WAS 6 YRS OLD. WHAT DO YOU CALL A LESBIAN DINOSAUR? SHELLY GOT IT RIGHT SO SHE DIDN'T WIN A PRIZE. A TEACHER WAS STANDING NEXT TO HER WHILE THIS HAPPENED AND TOLD HER TO GO PRAY.

NATHAN – DAD HAD SURGERY CUT OPEN LEG FROM HIP TO ANKLE. NO BLADDER CONTROL AFTER THAT. DAD PEED AT NATHAN'S WEDDING IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

RUDY – IN FIRST GRADE HE GOT HAIRCUTS IN TJ. DAD BOUGHT HIM CHEAP SHOES AND THEY CAME APART. HIS DAD SEE'S HIM AND HELPS OUT WITH DUCT TAPE. THEY FLIP FLOPPED AFTER ABOUT A WEEK. GOT CALLED THE FLIP FLOP BOY.

DENNIS – GOT MARRIED – HAD A SURPRISE BACHELOR PARTY. HIS DAD WAS THERE WATCHING PORN WITH HIM TEASING HIM ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH HIS NEW WIFE.

MAKING FUN OF A DUDE SPEED WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL – TURNED OUT TO BE HIS DAD!

HAVEN – CAMPING BY THE RIVER (COLD WATER). HE MET A GIRL AND THEY TOOK A SWIM. OFFERED HER A SODA AND HAD TO WALK PAST DAD – WHO PANTS HIM IN FRONT OF THE GIRL WHO SAW HIS SHRINKAGE. DAD SHOOK UP THE SODA'S SO IT WENT IN HIS FACE.

Chainsaw sports:

SAM THE COOKING GUY: ROASTED CORN SALAD RECIPE:

SHELLY'S NEWS: ESCAPED CONVICTS WERE CAPTURED. TROOPS HEADING TO AFGHANISTAN. CONGRESSIONAL BASEBALL GAME LAST NIGHT WHERE THE DEMS WON. OREGON WILL ALLOW NON SPECIFIC GENDER ON YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE: M,F OR X. STEVE HARVEY LOVES CLEV CAVS & TALKED TO A LISTENER IN FLINT MI. TOLD HIM TO ENJOY HIS NICE BROWN WATER. THE MAYOR OF FLINT WANTS HARVEY TO APOLOGIZE. HEAT WAVE IN SAN DIEGO COUNTY THIS WEEKEND. CAREFUL WITH FIRE!

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