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Jul 10, 2017

LISTENER LAUREN IN A JAM THIS MORNING. HER BOYFRIEND IS OUT OF TOWN AND HE TOLD HER – DO NOT USE MY NEW TRAGER SMOKER GRILL. SO OF COURSE SHE USED IT. IT MADE A NOISE SO SHE JAMMED THE TONGS INTO IT AND NOW IT DOESN'T WORK. HE GETS HOME TOMORROW SO WHAT SHOULD SHE DO?

BOYER SAID TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN.

EMILY SAID GO OUT AND EARN THE MONEY TO REPLACE IT.

SHELLY SAID TO TELL THE TRUTH, ADMIT WHAT YOU DID AND APOLOGIZE

RUTHIE SAID FIND A FIX IT GUY OR BUY A NEW ONE

DAVE SAID, ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T DO IT

CHAINSAW SPORTS: THE ALL STAR BREAK IS UPON US IN MLB. HUGE CROWD AT THE Q LAST NIGHT.

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: TRUMP JR. MET WITH A RUSSIAN ATTY WHO HAD TIES TO THE KREMLIN WHO PROMISED CLINTON DIRT DURING ELECTION THAT WOULD HELP HIS DAD. TURNED OUT IT WAS ABOUT ADOPTION. // TONS OF FIRES BURNING IN CA RIGHT NOW. INCLUDING ONE IN SANTA BARBARA. /// REUSABLE WATER BOTTLES ARE FULL OF HARMFUL BACTERIA. /// SHIA LEBEAUF ARRESTED FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT WHEN HE BUMMED A CIGGY AND THE PERSON WOULDN'T GIVE HIM ONE. /// GREEN DAY RESPONDING TO CRITICISM WHEN PERFORMING AFTER AN ACROBAT FELL TO HIS DEATH. GREEN DAY SAID THEY DIDN'T KNOW THE GUY DIED, BUT THE AUDIENCE SAW IT AND WERE HORRIFIED.

LIFE QUESTIONS:

SHOULD PEOPLE STILL KNOW HOW TO SPELL CORRECTLY EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE SPELL CHECK?

IF YOUR CAR HAS AUTOMATIC PARALLEL PARKING, SHOULD YOU STILL HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO DO IT WITHOUT IT? (((CA NO LONGER REQUIRES PARALLEL PARKING!))))

CHAINSAW SPORTS: HOME RUN DERBY TONIGHT.

WHO TIPS BETTER? MEN OR WOMEN? REPUBLICANS OR DEMS?

DISCUSSION ON THE LETTER C WITH A DINGLEBERRY CURLY CUE UNDER IT. IT'S USED IN 12 LANGUAGES INCLUDING FRENCH AND PORTUGESE.

CHAINSAW SPORTS: HE PLAYED A FUNNY JEOPARDY CLIP OF ALEX TREBEK BARELY CONTAINING HIS SHAME OVER A GUY THINKING MAGIC JOHNSON PLAYED IN THE NHL RATHER THAN THE NBA.

DAY 3 OF OUR 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS IN JULY FOR OUR MILITARY FAMILIES: LISTENER NANCY WROTE TO US... LOST HER JOB IN THE AIR FORCE DUE TO DOWNSIZING. MAKING HALF THE PAY SHE USE TO. HER FRIDGE IS LEAKING ALL OVER THE FLOOR – NEEDS A NEW ONE!

SHELLY'S NEWS: TRUMP/PUTIN, COMPUTER HACKING, MONKEY'S SWARMING A FEEDER FOR DEER. THEY WOLFED DOWN 250 LBS OF FOOD. // SHIA LEBEOUF GOT ARRESTED AGAIN WHEN HE COULDN'T GET A CIGGY.

 

MIX OF ZANY WITH SHIA

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Jul 6, 2017

500 KIDS HAVE TO RETAKE THEIR AP TEST AT SCRIPPS RANCH BECAUSE OF A HUMAN ERROR. SHELLY IS BACK FROM HER HIP OPERATION AND DOING WELL. DAVE SAW A SEMI TRUCK ON FIRE ON THE WAY TO WORK THIS MORING AND SHOT A VIDEO OF IT – FLAMES AND EVERYTHING.

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: 540 STUDENTS HAVE TO RETAKE THEIR AP TESTS. SEMI TRUCK ON FIRE SB 15 BY MIRAMAR RD. KID KICKED OUT OF PAID SEAT FOR AN ADULT ON UNITED. PISSED OFF AND GOT HER MONEY BACK. KATY PERRY COMMERICAL OF A DOG IN AUSTRALIA TELLING PEOPLE TO LET THEIR DOGS CHACE A KOALA BEAR, WHICH THEY DIDN'T APPRECIATE SINCE IT'S A PROBLEM THERE.

EMILY'S HUSBAND CAN'T KEEP A SECRET! HE HAD A SURPRISE FOR HER BIRTHDAY BUT CAN'T KEEP A SECRET TO SAVE HIS LIFE. HE WANTED TO TELL HER BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW. HE COULDN'T CONTAIN IT ANYMORE AND TOLD HER ABOUT A BLOW-OUT TODAY AT 11:45! HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY! ALI RICKARDS TURNED 21 ON THE 4TH SO DAVE HAD THE EXPERIENCE OF ALI'S FIRST LEGAL DRINK.

LISTENER ANGEL: CHOOSES CHAINSAW WHO WILL HUM A SONG AND SHE HAS TO NAME IT AND GET 3 OUT OF 5 TO WIN TICKETS TO SIX FLAGS MAGIC MOUNTAIN. ALAS, SHE LOST THE GAME.

CHAINSAW: BASEBALL AND HOOPS

BOYER VS. THE TEAM: LISTENER MATT AGREES WITH BOYER FOR SIX FLAGS TICKETS – HE LOST. NO ONE WAS CORRECT.

THE SPIRIT OF ST. LOUIS WAS CALLED THAT BECAUSE THE BACKERS WERE FROM THERE.

Q: WARNER BROTHERS EXECUTIVE'S DIDN'T WANT JIMMY STEWART TO PLAY THE PART OF CHARLES LINDBERGH, WHY?

TEAM A. HE WAS TOO OLD.

BOYER A. HE WAS TOO TALL TO FIT IN THE ACTUAL PLANE. THE REAL LINDBERGH WAS SHORT.

REAL ANSWER: HE WAS TOO FAT!

DAY ONE OF THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS IN JULY FOR MILITARY FAMILIES: HIS DAD CHARLIE WROTE TO DAVE ABOUT CHRISTOPHER. HE GOT A JOB FIXING MOTORCYCLES AFTER HIS RETIREMENT FROM THE MILITARY. WE'RE GIVING HIM $1,000 TO BUY NEW TOOLS FOR HIS NEW JOB.

NPR TWEETED LINES FROM THE CONSTITUTION AND THE TWITTERVERSE DEMANDED DEFUNDING OF NPR AND THOUGHT IT WAS INFLAMATORY. THOUGHT THEY WERE INCITING A REVOLUTION AND TALKING AGAINST THE PRESIDENT.

CHAINSAW SPORTS: JOEY CHESTNUTS WON HOT DOG EATING CONTEST FOR 10TH TIME.

INSTAGRAM RICH LIST: KATY PERRY, KARDASHIANS, SELENA GOMEZ MAKES HALF A MILLION PER INSTAGRAM POST. KIM K. KILEY, KENDALL, CHOLE, KARA DELIVINGE, GIGI HADID, LEBRON AND #1 CHRISTIANE RENALDO MAKE THE MOST MONEY PER INSTA POST = $350,000!!

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: LISTENER GILL WANTS TO PLAY FOR THE TICKETS TO SIX FLAGS MAGIC MOUNTAIN! DAVE READS THREE STATEMENTS AND HE HAS TO CHOOSE THE LIE. HE WON!!

SHELLY'S NEWS: TRUMP WENT TO POLAND. HE'S PISSED ABOUT MISSLE LAUNCH IN NORTH KOREA. FIRE CALLED: PETE 2 SHOULDA BEEN RE-PETE. STUDENTS IN SCRIPPS RANCH HAVE TO RETAKE EXAMS FOR AP TESTS. VOLVO WILL STOP MAKING CARS WITH COMBUSTION ENGINES BY 2019!

Jul 5, 2017

Lame Wedding Gifts, Buttplugs cure migraines, Word pronunciation, MIL trying to breastfeed daughter, Gross us out in 3 words, How did your wedding get ruined?  Naughty Girls, Disgusting habits of co-workers.

Jul 4, 2017

Call In sick stories, Worthless skills, What's your "Little Rule?"  Secret pregnancy, Bra-washing?  Worst movies, Mascots are dumb, $5 Quiz.

Jul 3, 2017

Pic of Merle, Do chicks dig tattoos of naked chicks?  Hardest part of Basic Training, Listening to us on the toilet, Favorite concert, Rude houseguests.

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Jun 30, 2017

Happy Fourth of July, Emily and Dave's Twitter Meat Cookoff, Happy Birthday to Allie Rickards!, Chainsaw Sports, Randy's News Tease, Trump & Morning Joe Twitter Battle, Rock 'n Roll Trivia Question, Sam the Cooking Guy, Half Baked Crackpot News, Boyer Featurette.  

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Jun 29, 2017

Who Has More Money?, Chainsaw Sports, Randy's News Tease, $5 Quiz Initial Challenge, Dave's 100.7 Days of Summer Math Quiz, Boyer V. The Team: How Many Bulls Die in the Ring Each Year?, Half Baked Crackpot News. 

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Jun 28, 2017

Sourtoe Cocktail, CNN Producer Video, Chainsaw Sports, Randy's News Tease, Chicks Can't Do Sound Effects, Bachelor in Paradise New Rules, Sex Toy Casualties, Half Baked Crackpot News. 

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Jun 27, 2017

Update on Shelly's Surgery, Bad TV, Chainsaw Sports, Randy's News Tease, Who's Worse: Kmart, Airport, or Fair People, NBA Awards, What is America's Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?, Stupid Guy Stuff,  McEnroe Says Serena Williams 700th Against Men, Nebraska Democrat Happy Scalise Got Shot, Half Baked Crackpot News. 

 

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