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Now displaying: Page 6

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May 23, 2017

DAVE HELD UP A PIECE OF PAPER SO EMILY CAN'T HEAR HIM. HE SAID SHE'S IN NO MOOD. SHE'S SLEEP DEPRIVED FROM STAYING UP LATE WATCHING THE BACHELOR AFTER SHE WENT TO THE MOVIES TO SEE THE NEW PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN MOVIE. DAVE THINKS THE WA-BOOM GUY IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN BACHELOR NATION. UGH! HE LOVES THE CATCH PHRASE WHILE RUTH THINKS IT'S THE WORST.

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

MIKE HANSON NEWS TEASE: SIR ROGER MOORE DIED, AGE 89. HE'S IN. ARIANA GRANDE CONCERT BOMBED IN MANCHESTER ENGLAND WITH 22 DEAD AND 59 INJURED. ISIS TAKES RESPONSIBILITY. YOU CAN SEE SMOKE FROM COWLES MOUNTAIN, THE HIGHEST POINT IN SAN DIEGO COUNTY. A HOTEL EMPLOYEE SLEPT WITH ORLANDO BLOOM AND SHE GOT FIRED FOR IT.

SINCE ROGER AILES DIED LAST WEEK -- FOX NEWS LOST TO MSNBC LAST WEEK FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. BACHELOR NATION. DAVE SAW ELLIPTICAL BIKE'S IN SOLANA BEACH AND THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN THAT FOR ABOUT A MILE. GOOGLE FIRST EVER CYCLOPS GOAT BORN IN INDIA. FAKE HOMELESS WOMAN GETS CALLED OUT AND GOES VIRAL.

JIM CARREY FEEDS BIRDS WITH HIS MOUTH WHICH GOT HIS FACE AND BEARD IFESTED WITH BUGS!!

DAVE'S WIFE WAS BEING A JERK TO HIM. THEN HE WOKE UP. HE WISELY CHOSE NOT TO TELL HER HOW AWFUL SHE WAS AND WHAT AWFUL THINGS SHE SAID. HE WANTS CONGRATS FOR NOT TELLING HER. HE KEPT THINKING OF HER SAYING AND THINKING THESE AWFUL THINGS ANYWAY. HAVE YOU HAD A BAD DREAM ABOUT SOMEONE AND WOKE UP MAD AT THEM BECAUSE OF IT??

Six Dildo's on a Shelf is the name is the NAME OF DAVE'S NEW BAND.

SHELLY'S NEWS TEASE: RUSSIAN COLLUSION CASE, ENGLAND BOMBING AT ARIANA GRANDE CONCERT, ROGER MOORE DEAD. KILLER NACHOS, BRUSH FIRES,

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May 22, 2017

FAIL #1 THERE WAS A PASTOR WHO WANTED TO EMULATE JESUS WHO COULD REALLY DO SOME GOOD TRICKS. … LIKE WALKING ON WATER. GOT EATEN BY CROCODILES.

FAIL #2 DUDE ON METH TAKES THE LAW INTO HIS OWN HANDS. HATED PORTLAND AND WANTED TO GO BACK TO JAIL SO HE MASTURBATED IN PUBLIC – VIGOROUSLY! EVERYONE KNOWS THERE'S NO BETTER PLACE FOR JACKIN IT THAN SAN DIEGO!

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

HANSON NEWS TEASE: TRUMP OVERSEAS – TODAY HE'S AT THE WESTERN WALL. VP PENCE SPOKE AT NOTREDAME – STUDENTS WALKED OUT. CHER GOT THE ICON AWARD & PERFORMED LAST NIGHT AT THE BILLBOARD MUSIC AWARDS AT AGE 71 – WORE THE SAME SKIMPY OUTFIT SHE WORE 25 YEARS AGO AND LOOKED INCREDIBLE. BEST GIANT WIG EVER! DRAKE BROKE RECORDS FOR MOST AWARDS WON IN A NIGHT BY ONE ARTIST AT THE BBMA. GATE FIRE WAS STARTED ON PURPOSE. NEWS QUIZ PRIZE: ROCKIBILLY RIOT WITH BRIAN SETZER.

BILLY BUSH RESURFACED AFTER 7 MONTHS SINCE THE BUS RECORDING OF HE AND TRUMP TALKING ABOUT SEXUALLY ASSUALTING WOMEN BECAUSE HE'S FAMOUS AND BUSH WENT ALONG WITH IT. HE'S BEEN WALKING ON COALS WITH TONY ROBBINS. WHO WILL HIRE HIM??

DAVE: HOW EXCITED ARE YOU EMILY? SHE SAID 1. BECAUSE THE FREAKIN' BACHELOR STARTS TONIGHT.

MOVIE TOP 10, ALIEN COVENANT IS #1 ALIEN IS DAVE'S SCARIEST MOVIE. FOR SHELLY IT'S THE OMEN. RUTHIE IS THE EXORCIST, BOYER IS JAWS, CHAINSAW IS SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, EMILY – It,

BOYER VS THE TEAM: CLAUSTROPHOBIA = FEAR OF HEIGHTS. ANATIDAE-PHOBIA. WE SAID: FEAR OF A BIRD FLYING IN YOUR HAIR. BOYER SAID: FEAR OF BEING CRAPPED ON BY A BIRD. NO ONE GOT IT RIGHT! IT MEANS: FEAR THAT SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW A DUCK IS WATCHING YOU.

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

ANIMAL STORIES: IN JOHANNASBURG, A COUPLE OF GUYS WERE HUNTING WHEN THEY WERE STORMED BY ELEPHANTS. ONE LIFTED THE HUNTER UP WITH HER TRUNK, SO HE SHOT HER DEAD. WHICH MADE HER DROP ON TOP OF THE MAN KILLING HIM. STEVE'S PIT BULL STORY: A STRAY WAS GOING TO BE PUT DOWN BECAUSE IT WAS A PIT BULL. BUT THE HEAD OF THE SHELTER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD POLICE DOG. SO IT'S LIFE WAS SAVED. GOOD OL' LEONARD.

GROCERY STORE CRIMINALS: IS IT OKAY TO TAKE AN ITEM FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S SHOPPING CART? OUR LISTENER WANTED TO BUY HOTDOG BUNS AND SAW A DUDE TAKE THE VERY LAST ONE, SO HE FOLLOWED HIM AND SNATCHED IT OUT OF HIS CART. HE SAYS IT'S NOT STEALING BECAUSE NO ONE HAD PAID FOR IT YET. WRONG WRONG WRONG! OF COURSE BOYER THINKS IT'S JUSTIFIED SO YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG!

SHELLY'S NEWS: GATE FIRE, A BABY SHOWER IS NOW CALLED A PUSH PARTY ACCORDING TO BEYONCE.

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May 19, 2017

WHY ARE HOT CHICKS SO INSECURE? KATE UPTON SAYS SHE FEELS INSECURE IN A BIKINI.

EMILY SHOPPING FOR SHELF PAPER IS STILL THE WORST THING SAID ON THIS SHOW ALL WEEK. HER LIFE WAS BLAH BEFORE THAT. LIFE CHANGING!

LISTENER FRANK: SAID HE WAS HANGING OUT WITH STEVE HARVEY IN VEGAS. HE WOULDN'T POSE WITH HIM FOR A QUICK PIC AFTER HIS DINNER. DISAPPOINTING PEOPLE.

MIKE HANSON NEWS TEASE: STEVE HARVEY BLAH BLAH BLAH. NINA AGDAL BROKE UP WITH LEONARDO DECAPRIO. CHRIS CORNELL WAS TAKING ATAVAN AND ONE OF THE SIDE EFFECTS IS SUICIDAL THINKING. TIMES SQUARE DRIVER CHARGED WITH MURDER. HE WAS HIGH ON K2. ALAN THICKE FAMILY IS SUING HIS WIDOW OR MAYBE VICE VERSA.

END OF THE WORLD: IT'S COMING ON MAY 31ST

RUTHIE IS PRESIDENT AT THE END OF THE WORLD WITH NO ONE ELSE LEFT EXCEPT THE NEW BOB FILNER. WE'D RIG UP SOME POWER TO GET GAS PUMPS TO WORK. TAKE ALL THE FOOD WE WANT FROM STORES.

SAM THE COOKING GUY IS ACTUALLY COOKING FOR US TODAY. HE'S MAKING STEAK IN A TOASTER OVER IN EMILY'S STUDIO ON FACEBOOK LIVE! SUPER DELICIOUS WITH MASHED POTATOES!

WHY DOES RODDD HAVE THREE D'S?

I HATE IT GAME:

ONE IN FOUR WOMEN NO LONGER SHAVE THEIR ARM PITS. ON OUR SHOW IT'S – RUTH. DAVE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE DIGITAL KATE, BUT NOPE, BOYER WAS RIGHT WHEN HE GUESSED RUTHIE.

SHELLY DUNN'S HALF BAKED CRACKPOT NEWS: COOL TO START TODAY, BUT WARMER THIS AFTERNOON SAYS HEATHER WEATHER. TRUMP, NYC DRIVERS ON K2 CHARGED WITH MURDER. PART TWO: BEN THE BACHELOR BROKE UP WITH LAUREN, AWWWWW!

HANSON FILLED IN ON DRUMS FOR BOYER WITH CHAINSAW SPORTS!!

WORST THING WE HEAR ALL WEEK: Hold your plates like a record (Monday, 7:20, Boyer) -->Emily's retelling of taking Rico to the Dollar Store for shelf liner became the worst thing.

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May 18, 2017

NONE OF US ON THE DSC CREW WOULD MAKE IT INTO THE DEATH CZAR HALL OF FAME – EXCEPT DAVE – AND THAT WAS ONLY BECAUSE HE BEGGED.

SINGER CHRIS CORNELL AND FOX NEWS FOUNDER ROGER AILES BOTH DIED LAST NIGHT AND MADE IT IN.

FIVE GUYS IS NOW THE #1 BURGER IN AMERICA.

$5 QUIZ FAST FOOD: WRITTEN BY ASHLEY, RUTH WINS & RETAINS FIRST PLACE!

FIRST DATE FROM HELL! MAN SUES DATE FOR TEXTING DURING A MOVIE. HE ASKED HER TO LEAVE THE THEATER SO SHE LEFT. SHE DROVE THEM ON THE DATE, SO HE WAS STRANDED AT THE THEATRE. SPLIT JURY AGAIN.

GISELE BUNCHEN NEEDS TO SHUT THE HELL UP. SHE BLABBED THAT HE ALWAYS GETS CONCUSSIONS. ALTHOUGHT HE'S NEVER REPORTED IT WHICH NEEDS TO BE DONE ACCORDING TO NFL RULES. HE COULD BE FINED FOR NOT REPORTING THEM.

12-YEAR OLD KID IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL FOR CALLING ANOTHER KID A C YOU NEXT TUESDAY. THE STEP FATHER HANDLED THE SITUATION AND WONDERS IF HE SHOULD KEEP THE KIDS SECRET OR TELL THE MOM.

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May 17, 2017

Foghat!  Boyer vs. The Team, Would You Rather, How different would the show be without Boyer?  Chainsaw Sports, Half-Baked Crackpot News.

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