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Jul 14, 2017

Happy Friday! Sneakers vs Tennis Shoes, Chainsaw sports, Chainsaw hums the hits, Beat the Bandit, 12 Days of Christmas in July - Day 7, Half baked crackpot news, Boyer featurette

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Jul 13, 2017

Shelly's chicken intervention, Chainsaw sports, $5 quiz - Greatest chick song of all time, STEVE POLTZ!!!, Half baked crackpot news, 12 Days of Christmas in July - Day 6

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Jul 12, 2017

GREAT INNOVATORS OF OUR TIME: WHO DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY? BEN FRANKLIN. GRAVITY? SIR ISSAC NEWTON. AMERICA? CHRIS COLUMBUS. WIND? BOYER WAS TRYING FIX HIS TRUCK AND HAD TO LEAVE THE HOOD OPEN A LITTLE BIT. WHEN HE TEST DROVE IT – BAM – THE HOOD FLEW UP – BLOCKING HIS VIEW OF THE ROAD!! AND HE CAUGHT THE WHOLE THING ON VIDEO!!

CHAINSAW SPORTS: MLB ALL-STAR GAME – AMERICAN LEAGUE WON, THE CATCHER LOOKED LIKE R2D2 IN HIS GOLD CHEST PROTECTOR & HELMET!

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: OLYMPICS MIGHT COME TO LA! AND ALSO TO PARIS!

AMA-BRUSH – KICK STARTER PROJECT WITH A MOUTH-GUARD LOOKING THING THAT LETS YOUR BRUSH ALL OF YOUR TEETH AT ONCE – IN TEN SECONDS. BOYER SAID IT LOOKS LIKE A BALL-GAG! BECAUSE HE LOOKS SO COOL WALKING DOWN THE HALL BRUSHING HIS TEETH.

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

LASH WEDNESDAY: WHO WILL BE THE SIN SINNIEST SINNER OF THEM ALL TO WIN FREE PASSES TO COMIC-CON FROM REVEREND DAVE!

*******WINNER********MEGAN – WENT TO MEXICO TO A WEDDING. GOT SO BORED – SHE HAD SEX WITH A COUPLE ON THEIR HONEYMOON! ******************

JIMMY – ROOMIE ON MEDS FOR SCHIZOPHREINIA BUT HE DIDN'T TAKE THEM, SO HE PUT MEDS IN A SANDWICH. GAVE HIM TOO MUCH!

HEATHER – WENT TO ROSARITO TO DRINK WITH HER BABY DADDY. WASN'T FEELING IT SO STARTED HAVING SHOTS OF TEQUILLA. HAD SEX IN BATHROOM STALL – BROKE THE TOILET! SO SHE DROVE ON THE BAD STREETS AND POPPED A TIRE. FEDERALES SWOOPED IN AND SHE GAVE THEM HER GOLD BRACELET.

JAVIER – SPYING ANOTHER DRIVING TEXTING. SHE HIT THE GAS ON A RED LIGHT.

BATMAN – PICKED UP ROBIN IN HIS CAR. THEN LOST HIS CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.

JENNIFER –HER AND HUBBY WENT TO FRIENDS FOR DINNER, GOT DRINK, COULDN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. BUT SUDDENLY BECAME AWARE THAT SHE WAS PEEING ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR! SHE GOT CAUGHT – SO SHE TOLD THE HOST SHE SPILLED HER BEER AND HE CLEANED IT UP – EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE DRINKING WINE!

CYNTHIA – GOT DRUNK & WENT TO THE BATHROOM TOGETHER WITH HER EX-SISTER-IN-LAW. SHE WENT RIGHT FOR HER WEAK SPOT – HER BOOBS AND ENDED UP MAKING OUT WITH HER

SUSAN- PUMPING GAS ONE DAY, DROVE AWAY WITH THE HOSE CONNECTED TO HER CAR. THE ATTENDENT WAS ON A BREAK – SO SHE DROVE OFF WITHOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE.

NEIL – DRINKING HEAVILY WITH FRIENDS, PEED ON HIS GIRLFRIEND WHO WAS IN BED AT THE TIME. HE ASKED WHAT SHE WAS DOING IN THE TOILET? SHE MOVED OUT THE NEXT DAY!

MATT - SNUCK OFF TO ESCO WITH UNDERAGE GF FOR BIRTH CONTROL. SAW GF'S MOM'S BEST FRIEND PROTESTING ABORTION. CAUGHT THEM.

KRISTEN - SNUCK OUT AT NIGHT – TOLD HER DAD SHE SLEPT WALKED!

JOSEPH – WENT DRINKING AT FRIENDS HOUSE. LITTLE BRO (14) WANTED TO DRINK WITH THEM. WENT OUT FOR A SMOKE BREAK – CAME BACK TO FIND HE DRANK A FIFTH OF JACK. SO THEY HOG TIED HIM WITH DUCT TAPE AND PUT ICY HOT ALL OVER HIM.

*******"ALTER BOYS IN SKIN TIGHT ROBES" IS THE NAME OF REVEREND DADDY'S NEW BAND!***

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

VATICAN COPS RAIDED A GAY, SEX PARTY IN THE VATICAN!! NEIGHBORS WERE COMPLAINING ABOUT PEOPLE COMING IN AND OUT, SO THEY CHECKED IT OUT AND ARRESTED A PRIEST! HE WAS SENT TO REHAB AND DEMOTED OUT OF THE VATICAN.

*********PISSED OFF POPE'S IS THE NAME OF DAVE'S NEW BAND!******

A MODEL, WINNY HARLOW, POSTED A PIC ON HER SOCIAL MEDIA OF A BIG FAT GUY AND WROTE, "SEXY VIEWS – YOU'RE WELCOME." TOOK A LOT OF FLACK FROM FOLLOWERS WHO WERE PISSED ABOUT SHAMING THE FAT GUY. SHE SAID IT WAS HER UNCLE AND A FAMILY MATTER – JUST KIDDING. TOLD THEM TO RELAX. CHATTED ABOUT CHRIS CRISTIE AFTER THAT... ABOUT HIM AND HIS FAMILY PARTYING ON A BEACH THAT WAS CLOSED TO CITIZENS OF NJ DUE TO BUDGET SHORTFALLS. AND ABOUT HIM BEING FAT AND CALLED A FAT ASS BY A RADIO LISTENER. DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN WHEN IT COMES TO FAT SHAMING. IT'S WORSE FOR WOMEN SO HOW ARE WE EVER GOING TO BE EQUAL.

SHELLY'S NEWS: DON JR. BLAH BLAH BLAH/// OLYMPICS IN PARIS AND LA./// GOP SHUTDOWN /// ANTHONY'S FISH GROTTO DEMOLITION DOWNTOWN WATERFRONT// TESLA3 BLAH BLAH BLAH

10:02 am: DAY 5 OF 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS IN JULY FOR OUR MILITARY FAMILIES: LISTENER CYNTHIA WROTE IN ABOUT HERSELF. SHE NEEDS TO VISIT HER FAMILY IN MICHIGAN – IT'S BEEN YEARS AND SHE MISSES THEM A LOT, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE.

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Jul 11, 2017

SOME OF OUR LISTENER'S HAVE BEEN DIGGING OUT OLD COPIES OF OUR CD'S AND MOVIES.

LISTENER VICTORIA SAID – SHE HEARD FROM THE BACK SEAT HER YOUNG SON SAYING PEENIE IN THE WHO-HA

IT'S FREE DAY – 7-11 SMALL SLURPEE'S, CHICK FILET CHICKEN SANDWICH IF YOU DRESS UP AS A COW AND MCDONALD'S HAS FREE ICE CREAM CONE ON SUNDAY FOR NATIONAL ICE CREAM DAY.

CHAINSAW SPORTS: NJ GOV CHRIS CHRISTY DID A SPORTS RADIO TALK SHOW AND CALLED A LISTENER A BUM AND A COMMUNIST AFTER THE DUDE CALLED HIM A FAT ASS.

Day 4 of 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS IN JULY FOR OUR MILITARY FAMILIES: LISTENER ADAM WROTE TO DAVE, HE WAS AN ENGINEER IN THE NAVY FOR 11 YEARS. LIVING IN HIS CAR NOW, BEHIND ON HIS BILLS, LOOKING FOR A JOB DOING REPAIRS ON A/C AND HVAC.

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: NO WORD ON CHRIS CHRISTY GETTTING THE JOB AS SPORTS RADIO ANNOUNCER IN NYC. AP TESTING IN SCRIPPS RANCH NEEDS A DECISION BY FRIDAY. //AMAZON PRIME DAY – SHOPPING//// FL MOM LEFT KID IN CAR 30 MIN. THEN GOT ARRESTED AND PUT IN THE BACK OF A COP CAR WEHRE SHE WANTED THE A/C ON BECAUSE IT WAS TOO HOT!! CHRIS BOYER IMMEDIATELY BLAMED THE 5 YEAR OLD KID FOR GETTING LOCKED IN THE CAR!!! /// JERSEY MIKE'S LUNCH FOR FOUR – NEWS QUIZ PRIZE TODAY!

CHAINSAW SPORTS: HOME RUN DERBY,

WOMEN LOVE HAIRY MEN, SAYS A NEW STUDY IN MAXIUM! TEN LISTENER POLL – HAIRY OR NOT – 8-2 IN FAVOR OF NOT!

DJ IN BOSTON GOT A REQUEST FOR INSANE CLOWN POSSE SONG CALLED MY AXE. HE REFUSED TO PLAY IT. THE LISTENER DROVE TO THE RADIO STATION WITH AN AXE AND SOME KNIVES AND THREATENED PEOPLE WITH IT. THREE HOURS LATER HE WAS ARRESTED WITH CUTS, BUT NO ONE ELSE WAS HURT.

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

DAVE CALLED DAY 3 WINNER, NANCY WHO NEEDED A NEW FRIDGE. HE WANTS TO CHANGE HER MIND TO GET IT FROM APPLIANCE ALLEY ON HANCOCK STREET FOR HIGH END SIDE BY SIDE FRIDGE/FREEZER FOR FREE!!! SO SHE CAN SPEND IT ON SOMETHING FUN!

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Jul 10, 2017

LISTENER LAUREN IN A JAM THIS MORNING. HER BOYFRIEND IS OUT OF TOWN AND HE TOLD HER – DO NOT USE MY NEW TRAGER SMOKER GRILL. SO OF COURSE SHE USED IT. IT MADE A NOISE SO SHE JAMMED THE TONGS INTO IT AND NOW IT DOESN'T WORK. HE GETS HOME TOMORROW SO WHAT SHOULD SHE DO?

BOYER SAID TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN.

EMILY SAID GO OUT AND EARN THE MONEY TO REPLACE IT.

SHELLY SAID TO TELL THE TRUTH, ADMIT WHAT YOU DID AND APOLOGIZE

RUTHIE SAID FIND A FIX IT GUY OR BUY A NEW ONE

DAVE SAID, ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T DO IT

CHAINSAW SPORTS: THE ALL STAR BREAK IS UPON US IN MLB. HUGE CROWD AT THE Q LAST NIGHT.

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: TRUMP JR. MET WITH A RUSSIAN ATTY WHO HAD TIES TO THE KREMLIN WHO PROMISED CLINTON DIRT DURING ELECTION THAT WOULD HELP HIS DAD. TURNED OUT IT WAS ABOUT ADOPTION. // TONS OF FIRES BURNING IN CA RIGHT NOW. INCLUDING ONE IN SANTA BARBARA. /// REUSABLE WATER BOTTLES ARE FULL OF HARMFUL BACTERIA. /// SHIA LEBEAUF ARRESTED FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT WHEN HE BUMMED A CIGGY AND THE PERSON WOULDN'T GIVE HIM ONE. /// GREEN DAY RESPONDING TO CRITICISM WHEN PERFORMING AFTER AN ACROBAT FELL TO HIS DEATH. GREEN DAY SAID THEY DIDN'T KNOW THE GUY DIED, BUT THE AUDIENCE SAW IT AND WERE HORRIFIED.

LIFE QUESTIONS:

SHOULD PEOPLE STILL KNOW HOW TO SPELL CORRECTLY EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE SPELL CHECK?

IF YOUR CAR HAS AUTOMATIC PARALLEL PARKING, SHOULD YOU STILL HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO DO IT WITHOUT IT? (((CA NO LONGER REQUIRES PARALLEL PARKING!))))

CHAINSAW SPORTS: HOME RUN DERBY TONIGHT.

WHO TIPS BETTER? MEN OR WOMEN? REPUBLICANS OR DEMS?

DISCUSSION ON THE LETTER C WITH A DINGLEBERRY CURLY CUE UNDER IT. IT'S USED IN 12 LANGUAGES INCLUDING FRENCH AND PORTUGESE.

CHAINSAW SPORTS: HE PLAYED A FUNNY JEOPARDY CLIP OF ALEX TREBEK BARELY CONTAINING HIS SHAME OVER A GUY THINKING MAGIC JOHNSON PLAYED IN THE NHL RATHER THAN THE NBA.

DAY 3 OF OUR 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS IN JULY FOR OUR MILITARY FAMILIES: LISTENER NANCY WROTE TO US... LOST HER JOB IN THE AIR FORCE DUE TO DOWNSIZING. MAKING HALF THE PAY SHE USE TO. HER FRIDGE IS LEAKING ALL OVER THE FLOOR – NEEDS A NEW ONE!

SHELLY'S NEWS: TRUMP/PUTIN, COMPUTER HACKING, MONKEY'S SWARMING A FEEDER FOR DEER. THEY WOLFED DOWN 250 LBS OF FOOD. // SHIA LEBEOUF GOT ARRESTED AGAIN WHEN HE COULDN'T GET A CIGGY.

 

MIX OF ZANY WITH SHIA

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