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DSC 0
Jul 12, 2017

GREAT INNOVATORS OF OUR TIME: WHO DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY? BEN FRANKLIN. GRAVITY? SIR ISSAC NEWTON. AMERICA? CHRIS COLUMBUS. WIND? BOYER WAS TRYING FIX HIS TRUCK AND HAD TO LEAVE THE HOOD OPEN A LITTLE BIT. WHEN HE TEST DROVE IT – BAM – THE HOOD FLEW UP – BLOCKING HIS VIEW OF THE ROAD!! AND HE CAUGHT THE WHOLE THING ON VIDEO!!

CHAINSAW SPORTS: MLB ALL-STAR GAME – AMERICAN LEAGUE WON, THE CATCHER LOOKED LIKE R2D2 IN HIS GOLD CHEST PROTECTOR & HELMET!

RANDY'S NEWS TEASE: OLYMPICS MIGHT COME TO LA! AND ALSO TO PARIS!

AMA-BRUSH – KICK STARTER PROJECT WITH A MOUTH-GUARD LOOKING THING THAT LETS YOUR BRUSH ALL OF YOUR TEETH AT ONCE – IN TEN SECONDS. BOYER SAID IT LOOKS LIKE A BALL-GAG! BECAUSE HE LOOKS SO COOL WALKING DOWN THE HALL BRUSHING HIS TEETH.

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

LASH WEDNESDAY: WHO WILL BE THE SIN SINNIEST SINNER OF THEM ALL TO WIN FREE PASSES TO COMIC-CON FROM REVEREND DAVE!

*******WINNER********MEGAN – WENT TO MEXICO TO A WEDDING. GOT SO BORED – SHE HAD SEX WITH A COUPLE ON THEIR HONEYMOON! ******************

JIMMY – ROOMIE ON MEDS FOR SCHIZOPHREINIA BUT HE DIDN'T TAKE THEM, SO HE PUT MEDS IN A SANDWICH. GAVE HIM TOO MUCH!

HEATHER – WENT TO ROSARITO TO DRINK WITH HER BABY DADDY. WASN'T FEELING IT SO STARTED HAVING SHOTS OF TEQUILLA. HAD SEX IN BATHROOM STALL – BROKE THE TOILET! SO SHE DROVE ON THE BAD STREETS AND POPPED A TIRE. FEDERALES SWOOPED IN AND SHE GAVE THEM HER GOLD BRACELET.

JAVIER – SPYING ANOTHER DRIVING TEXTING. SHE HIT THE GAS ON A RED LIGHT.

BATMAN – PICKED UP ROBIN IN HIS CAR. THEN LOST HIS CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.

JENNIFER –HER AND HUBBY WENT TO FRIENDS FOR DINNER, GOT DRINK, COULDN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. BUT SUDDENLY BECAME AWARE THAT SHE WAS PEEING ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR! SHE GOT CAUGHT – SO SHE TOLD THE HOST SHE SPILLED HER BEER AND HE CLEANED IT UP – EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE DRINKING WINE!

CYNTHIA – GOT DRUNK & WENT TO THE BATHROOM TOGETHER WITH HER EX-SISTER-IN-LAW. SHE WENT RIGHT FOR HER WEAK SPOT – HER BOOBS AND ENDED UP MAKING OUT WITH HER

SUSAN- PUMPING GAS ONE DAY, DROVE AWAY WITH THE HOSE CONNECTED TO HER CAR. THE ATTENDENT WAS ON A BREAK – SO SHE DROVE OFF WITHOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE.

NEIL – DRINKING HEAVILY WITH FRIENDS, PEED ON HIS GIRLFRIEND WHO WAS IN BED AT THE TIME. HE ASKED WHAT SHE WAS DOING IN THE TOILET? SHE MOVED OUT THE NEXT DAY!

MATT - SNUCK OFF TO ESCO WITH UNDERAGE GF FOR BIRTH CONTROL. SAW GF'S MOM'S BEST FRIEND PROTESTING ABORTION. CAUGHT THEM.

KRISTEN - SNUCK OUT AT NIGHT – TOLD HER DAD SHE SLEPT WALKED!

JOSEPH – WENT DRINKING AT FRIENDS HOUSE. LITTLE BRO (14) WANTED TO DRINK WITH THEM. WENT OUT FOR A SMOKE BREAK – CAME BACK TO FIND HE DRANK A FIFTH OF JACK. SO THEY HOG TIED HIM WITH DUCT TAPE AND PUT ICY HOT ALL OVER HIM.

*******"ALTER BOYS IN SKIN TIGHT ROBES" IS THE NAME OF REVEREND DADDY'S NEW BAND!***

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

VATICAN COPS RAIDED A GAY, SEX PARTY IN THE VATICAN!! NEIGHBORS WERE COMPLAINING ABOUT PEOPLE COMING IN AND OUT, SO THEY CHECKED IT OUT AND ARRESTED A PRIEST! HE WAS SENT TO REHAB AND DEMOTED OUT OF THE VATICAN.

*********PISSED OFF POPE'S IS THE NAME OF DAVE'S NEW BAND!******

A MODEL, WINNY HARLOW, POSTED A PIC ON HER SOCIAL MEDIA OF A BIG FAT GUY AND WROTE, "SEXY VIEWS – YOU'RE WELCOME." TOOK A LOT OF FLACK FROM FOLLOWERS WHO WERE PISSED ABOUT SHAMING THE FAT GUY. SHE SAID IT WAS HER UNCLE AND A FAMILY MATTER – JUST KIDDING. TOLD THEM TO RELAX. CHATTED ABOUT CHRIS CRISTIE AFTER THAT... ABOUT HIM AND HIS FAMILY PARTYING ON A BEACH THAT WAS CLOSED TO CITIZENS OF NJ DUE TO BUDGET SHORTFALLS. AND ABOUT HIM BEING FAT AND CALLED A FAT ASS BY A RADIO LISTENER. DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN WHEN IT COMES TO FAT SHAMING. IT'S WORSE FOR WOMEN SO HOW ARE WE EVER GOING TO BE EQUAL.

SHELLY'S NEWS: DON JR. BLAH BLAH BLAH/// OLYMPICS IN PARIS AND LA./// GOP SHUTDOWN /// ANTHONY'S FISH GROTTO DEMOLITION DOWNTOWN WATERFRONT// TESLA3 BLAH BLAH BLAH

10:02 am: DAY 5 OF 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS IN JULY FOR OUR MILITARY FAMILIES: LISTENER CYNTHIA WROTE IN ABOUT HERSELF. SHE NEEDS TO VISIT HER FAMILY IN MICHIGAN – IT'S BEEN YEARS AND SHE MISSES THEM A LOT, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE.

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