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DSC 0
May 31, 2017

SCOTT PELLY IS OUT AT CBS NEWS! HE'LL STILL WORK AT 60 MINUTES, BUT WHO WILL BE HIS REPLACEMENT? JEFF GLOR? DAVE RECALLED WHEN HE STARTED A MORNING NEWS SHOWS YEARS AGO THAT ONLY LASTED A WEEK OR SO.

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

RANDY NEWS TEASE: DUDE DOWNTOWN FIRING SHOTS IN THE AIR. KATHY GRIFFIN POSED FOR A PIC WITH A FAKE SEVERED HEAD OF DONALD TRUMP. SHE APOLOGIZED. MARY JOE LATURNO DIVORCING. #covfefe

HANSON, DEBBIE AND CARL FIRED YESTERDAY FROM KFMB-AM. WE'RE DYING ON THE INSIDE..

KATHY GRIFFIN APOLOGIZED AFTER THE BACKLASH FOR TAKING A PIC OF A BLOODY SEVERED HEAD OF TRUMP. NOT SURE MOST PEOPLE BELIEVE HER THOUGH.

"THE POTTER EATS FROM BROKEN DISHES." BOYER CAME UP WITH THAT WHILE TAKING A DUMP.

DAVE ON CW-TV WITH HEATHER ON THE NEW NEWS STATION WITH SECRET SIGNAL.

CREEPY STUFF SOME MEN DO WITHOUT REALIZING IT:

UNSOLICITED SHOULDER RUBS

TELLING WOMEN THEY SHOULD SMILE

TELLING WOMEN THEY LOOK INNOCENT

TELLING WOMEN THEY'RE GOOD AT GUESSING BRA SIZES

LET ME HELP YOU EAT THAT BANANA

YOU WANT TO PEE ANYWHERE IN HER VICINITY

BOYER GOT A PERFECT SCORE!!

LISTENER TABITHA PLAYS THE DISNEYLAND RESORT GAME TO WIN TICKETS TO DISNEYLAND RESORT – 4 PACK OF TICKETS. SHE HAS TO GET 3 OUT OF 5 RIGHT. SHE WINS!!!

SHELLY GUESSED OUR FREQUENCY IS 100-1-POINT-7!!!

SHELLYS NEWS: CRAZY MAN RUNNING AROUND DOWNTOWN SHOOTING GUNS IN THE AIR. TRUMP PULLED OUT OF THE PARIS CLIMATE ACCORDS WHICH REDUCES GREEN HOUSE EMISSIONS. TRUMP IS WILLING TO RENEGOTIATE IT AT A LATER DATE. KATHY GRIFFIN APOLOGIZES FOR HER IMAGE OF A BLOODY HEAD OF TRUMP. NEW SEA WORLD SHOWS COMING. CELEBRITY DEATH CZAR – FORMER BOND GIRL – MOLLY PETERS, AGE 75 – NO!

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

KOOKED UP TITS IS THE NAME OF DAVE'S NEW BAND.

 

 

BEST THING SAID ALL WEEK: DAVE IS DONE WITH THE BACHELORETTE

WORST THING SAID ALL WEEK: LUCAS WILL BE THIS GENERATION'S FRANCIS SCOTT KEY

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