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DSC 0
May 23, 2017

DAVE HELD UP A PIECE OF PAPER SO EMILY CAN'T HEAR HIM. HE SAID SHE'S IN NO MOOD. SHE'S SLEEP DEPRIVED FROM STAYING UP LATE WATCHING THE BACHELOR AFTER SHE WENT TO THE MOVIES TO SEE THE NEW PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN MOVIE. DAVE THINKS THE WA-BOOM GUY IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN BACHELOR NATION. UGH! HE LOVES THE CATCH PHRASE WHILE RUTH THINKS IT'S THE WORST.

CHAINSAW SPORTS:

MIKE HANSON NEWS TEASE: SIR ROGER MOORE DIED, AGE 89. HE'S IN. ARIANA GRANDE CONCERT BOMBED IN MANCHESTER ENGLAND WITH 22 DEAD AND 59 INJURED. ISIS TAKES RESPONSIBILITY. YOU CAN SEE SMOKE FROM COWLES MOUNTAIN, THE HIGHEST POINT IN SAN DIEGO COUNTY. A HOTEL EMPLOYEE SLEPT WITH ORLANDO BLOOM AND SHE GOT FIRED FOR IT.

SINCE ROGER AILES DIED LAST WEEK -- FOX NEWS LOST TO MSNBC LAST WEEK FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. BACHELOR NATION. DAVE SAW ELLIPTICAL BIKE'S IN SOLANA BEACH AND THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN THAT FOR ABOUT A MILE. GOOGLE FIRST EVER CYCLOPS GOAT BORN IN INDIA. FAKE HOMELESS WOMAN GETS CALLED OUT AND GOES VIRAL.

JIM CARREY FEEDS BIRDS WITH HIS MOUTH WHICH GOT HIS FACE AND BEARD IFESTED WITH BUGS!!

DAVE'S WIFE WAS BEING A JERK TO HIM. THEN HE WOKE UP. HE WISELY CHOSE NOT TO TELL HER HOW AWFUL SHE WAS AND WHAT AWFUL THINGS SHE SAID. HE WANTS CONGRATS FOR NOT TELLING HER. HE KEPT THINKING OF HER SAYING AND THINKING THESE AWFUL THINGS ANYWAY. HAVE YOU HAD A BAD DREAM ABOUT SOMEONE AND WOKE UP MAD AT THEM BECAUSE OF IT??

Six Dildo's on a Shelf is the name is the NAME OF DAVE'S NEW BAND.

SHELLY'S NEWS TEASE: RUSSIAN COLLUSION CASE, ENGLAND BOMBING AT ARIANA GRANDE CONCERT, ROGER MOORE DEAD. KILLER NACHOS, BRUSH FIRES,

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